2 of a kind

today got my maths paper 2 and history paper back.
improve by 1 mark for history but mrs pandian expected me to have gotten higher and i think i should
currently failed maths
i sort of just screwed the whole paper up
sighx
yep 2 of a kind
so diffcult to find
just finish my usual long talk with lydia
a straight 1hr 52mins
and as usual, i ended the call
we just alot to talk and we also write really long letters to each other as well
its not like what you pple think
think that we are always talking about that 56 and ENERGY
its just that i just realised today what had kept our conversations and letters never ending
we were like 2 of a kind

its diffcult to crave someone in your memory
and its even more diffcult to remove it away
thats all i haf to say
my own saying
believe it or not
and my logic about this issue is quite true
so just have to face it
you can always lie to yourself and others
but never your heart
it will always betray you
tears may just flow down when you think of them
but its not your fault
its not their fault that you are doing so bad
and also not yours
its fate
have to either face it or try to run away from it which will never work
i know all that we have been going through have been tough
but perservance is all we need to fight this battle with your feelings
i believe we will win the battle
but its how we are willing to give things up and tackle our weakness
its impossible to forget them and have a neat clear cut with your memories
why not just try to not hurt yourself so much so you would feel better
just slowing think less of them and let them eventually
i know i am saying all these when i am also one of the victims
i am actually feeling twice the pain you are experiencing now
so just think so how bad i will feel if you were me
but i will try this too but it depend how long i take to fight this battle
we must learn to put things down and continue with life
this entry is both for you and me

father, pls help us.